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I Need Your Endorsement

i wish i had one of these

It just dawned on me that people don’t use the word endorse enough.  We talk about what we like or dislike, what we do or don’t do, but we never say the word endorse.  The only people who really use it are politicians and business leaders.  I think I’m gonna bring the word endorse back to the people.  Probably not in a song, but definitely in my everyday conversations.

What do you think about my Earrings, Al?

“I don’t endorse those. Put on a different pair”

That kinda shit.

It’s safe to say that using the word endorse makes you sound real official, like you really put some thought into your decision, when you probably didn’t.  That’s why I like endorse.

I also like “cosign”.  Saying you can’t cosign something is like putting a scarlet letter on it.  It also makes you sound like less of a hater.

“What do you think about Chris Brown slappin Rihanna?

It sounds way better to say “I can’t cosign that behavior” than to say “Fuck Chris Brown, I’m never buying his records again!

Saying you can’t cosign something makes it seem like you looked at all the facts, put them under intense scrutiny, then made an educated decision that was based on nothing but the facts at hand.  I also like how it makes you sound like you have no emotional attachment to whatever it is that you can’t cosign.

Somebody on twitter reminded me about “subscribe”.  I like subscribe a lot as well. 

Man, fuck white people bro

I don’t subscribe to that bro

huh?

Subscribe saves you a lotta arguing.  It’s like you put a giant blanket over somebody’s opinion, balled it up into a wad, and threw it out the window in one smooth, fluid motion.  I don’t even think you have to say why you don’t subscribe to something, just that you don’t subscribe to something, and people will shut the fuck up and leave you alone.

Vouch is another good one. Unfortunately vouch is a little more personal, and doesn’t make you sound as official, so you’ve gotta be careful when you use vouch.  I could imagine it probably hurts like hell to find out somebody didn’t vouch for you.  I get asked to vouch for people all the time.  I try to be very judicious with my vouches.  I don’t just throw them around all willy nilly.

Word is Blog.

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